Dear teenagers on Twitter,
I'd like to start off by saying that I am one of you. This entire letter is going to be hypocritical, because although I started off with a Twitter to get extra credit in math class, I have 2,500 or so tweets since Freshman year and am guilty of almost every known Twitter atrocity there is. But lately I've been noticing the many, many problems I have with Twitter and the way it makes people interact. Besides, this is my blog, so I'm going to complain about it anyway, because the last few months I have gotten so incredibly sick of Twitter I don't even know why I bother to read it.
My first issue with the Twitter world is how important it is to have a lot of followers. Why do you care? It's not like there's a winner. It's not like you take your Twitter followers, multiply it by 100, and get your salary. More than that, it's not like you're actually friends with half the people who you follow anyway. You can only keep up so many friendships, and if you follow 4,000 people, I'd be willing to bet that you don't even read half their tweets anyway. If you do, I feel sorry for your teachers because you probably don't have time to do any of your homework and they have to try to teach you anyway.
Would it be so hard to check your grammar? I'm not going to get picky about prepositional phrases or dangling modifiers or any of that, but how hard is it to use the right you're/your? I'm not going to elaborate on this one because it would take way too long, but come on people. At least act like you're educated.
It's so tempting to #subtweet everyone, all the time, because there's so much to complain about on Twitter and let's be honest, this is high school, everyone hates everyone anyway. But you know that every single time you subtweet, someone is going to get upset because obviously they'll know it's about them. So just don't start it. Yes, everyone is annoying or stupid or tweets too much or really needs to stop talking about how great their boyfriend is once in awhile. But if you really don't like it, unfollow them and shut up.
I'm almost done, I promise, but one last thing: Hashtags are fun, but let's limit ourselves to like, three per tweet. I think even the worst of us have enough self-control for that. For example,
"So ready for the #weekend! #pumped #party #fun #excitement #friends #goodtimes #memories"
could probably be shortened to
"So ready for the weekend! #friends #fun #goodtimes"
or even just
"So ready for the weekend!"
And then I would hate you less.
So, that was my rant about Twitter, and even though no one on Twitter will ever see this, I needed to get some of that off my chest before I snap. And yes, to anyone reading this, I am probably either unfollowing about 95 people or deleting my Twitter here in a few days. Because I have no faith in the future of America if our follower/following ratio is the most important thing in our lives. So, teenagers, let's step up and mature a little bit, because we're about to go into the real world, and I'm pretty sure no one cares about how many followers you have.
(Oh, and Mr. Mullins, I'm sorry this is so mean, but I tried to base it off the ones on the website you put up and they were worse!)
Sincerely,
Me
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